Mindfulness for Goal Achievers

We have all heard about mindfulness. Mindfulness originated in the East although we are much more aware of it in Western culture these days. But how do we take being mindful as more than just the catch-cry printed on our favourite stationary? How can we take the concept of “being present” further than the beautiful minimalist print hanging on our wall?

For those of you who may not know, mindfulness is about increasing mental (and overall) health through living in the present as opposed to getting wrapped up in regrets of the past or worrying about the future. It acknowledges that the mind influences the body and vice versa.

One of the ways I have practiced being present is by being honest with myself about my feelings. For the first 20 years of my life, I was much more focussed on doing things right and being perceived as “good”. As a lived experience it didn’t make me happy and it felt like burnout. Now rather than people pleasing and focussing on approval, I practice mindfulness by listening to myself.

I used to be aware of the small whisperings I felt inside. They were quiet and I did a good job of ignoring them. But feelings are our bodies way of communicating with us. Over the last few years I learnt that ignoring my feelings didn’t not come without a cost. It felt like self-betrayal and sooner or later it would manifest in a physical illness.

Now if I have a feeling, at the very least, I acknowledge it. For me, its about being honest with myself and meeting myself where I’m at. Even if nothing can be done to change the situation I “hear it out” and by golly, I wished I had tried doing this sooner! What I have discovered is that when I “hear a feeling out”, it is able to turn into something else. For example, in the past I would suppress anger. I would dismiss it telling myself that I had no right to feel that way but, without listening to it, it would go around and around in my head.

In contrast, by exploring why I feel angry, I am now able to understand the message and move on to feeling grateful. More often than not I gain insight that helps me make decisions that will honour my values in future. Sometimes, I discover how I might communicate better. Nothing changes on the outside in that moment, but my perspective is changed and I move forward differently as a result of meeting myself where I’m at. Most of us would agree that communication is key in any good relationship, and the best place to start practicing it, is with ourselves.

It seems incredibly simple but makes a lot of sense. How do you feel if you have a conversation with someone who keeps dismissing you or won’t let you finish? When we are talking and aren’t getting heard, how many of you have resorted to yelling or felt like being physically violent? Sometimes, our bodies respond the same way with us when they feel they aren’t being heard. Emotions are triggered mentally but felt physically.

So what does being mindful mean for goal achieving?

We all have choices. Our freedom lies on the other side of conscious decision making. Being mindful, means listening to ourselves and making a calculated decision rather than falling prey to impulsivity. We move forward by listening to ourselves and keeping the promises we make, because every time we break a promise with ourselves, we betray ourselves and in my experience this hurts more than being betrayed by someone else.

I used to wake up every morning promising myself that today would be the day that I started respecting my body. I wanted to look healthier and I didn’t want to feel like I needed to take a nap after lunch. But in the afternoon, the cravings would hit, it would be a busy part of the day and I would start snacking on unhealthy foods. My energy levels would drop so low that I felt I needed a nap or I would push through but be irritable. Because I was already fighting to stay awake, if anything stressful occurred, I would react rather than respond.

After some other health problems, I decided that I needed to start listening to my body. I knew what I needed to do and it was simple, I just needed to be disciplined enough to do it. I was done “trying” to be healthy. I needed to be healthy. My desire was always there, seeking expression through me; this was my truth and I needed to honour it.

Now every morning I don’t wake up promising myself that today I will begin my health journey, I wake up with the joy that I haven’t betrayed myself. It’s incredibly empowering.

“Be heard or be-tray”. Maybe that’s the next minimalist print I should hang on my wall as a reminder because for me that conveys more meaning than “be present”. Mindfulness isn’t something only for the monks who have all day to sit and meditate. Mindfulness is something that can actually save you a lot of time. Our bodies give us feedback through our emotions. Our intuition and feelings guide us in real time, so use mindfulness as your tool to navigate your path. And remember, even the most successful high achievers only ever had 24 hours in a day and could only ever do one thing at a time. The only control anyone ever had was right now in this very moment.