Letter to Fear

Dear Fear,

You aren’t actually dear to me at all. I’m not sure who invited you, but I have noticed you hanging around during the last few days. It’s hardly surprising really; any time I take steps towards my personal growth, or make headway along my authentic journey, you decide to show up. Then all of a sudden what was excitement turns to worry; what was motion turns to paralysis. Well, I won’t let you steal my excitement this time. I’m doing this with or without you.  

Who do you think you are? Do you not know that I am strong? You speak to me as though I am weak, lazy or stupid and I’m here to remind you that I am anything but. Do you not remember what I have achieved in spite of you before? I am here to remind you to get back in your place. 

I am safe. Your only job is to keep me safe, but you need to allow me to grow and be challenged without questioning my every move. I am letting go of you. I am embracing my health. Don’t you find it ironic that you, the very thing designed to keep me safe is the very cause of my ill health? Go away. You suck. 

You can single handedly ruin my experience of life and I only get one chance at this thing. So, I am breaking up with you. I choose joy. I choose myself. I choose my health and I choose my growth.

Of course, I may not get things right the first time. Regardless, this journey I am on is going to be nothing short of great. Of course, I will be challenged but there is nothing I have ever been unable to deal with before, and I’m not about to become incapable now. In fact, I have never felt stronger in all my life. I am always at my strongest when I am going after my deepest desire. I am the sort of person who is a go getter. I don’t just wait around for things to happen to me, although you seem to think that’s what I should be doing. You seem to have mistaken me for some sort of victim. This is a polite reminder that you are sorely mistaken.

I know I am purpose built for this desire of mine, even though I don’t know every step required right now. I can deal with that. I can deal with not knowing it all. What I can’t deal with is the pain of you in my ear all the time expecting perfection.  At the end of the day, I don’t care what other people think. I care what I think. I care about my personal growth. I care about my loved ones and the beautiful moments I have with them. I care. Only you could turn care into something ugly. In the past you have cost me my happiness. You cost me my sanity. You cost me precious hours of sleep. Those days are over. Bye. See you never. I am drawing a line and you’d better not cross it. I am a force to be reckoned with, but you wouldn’t know that because you have never seen me in my full power, you are never there for my great moments. If you had been, you would know better than to say half the things you have to me. The truth is, you are terrible company.

All you have done is make me weak. I am a divine being created as an expression of the natural beauty of this universe. You are nothing.

Do you remember where I was 10 years ago? My relationship with you was so strong then and I almost didn’t make it out. But I did and look at me now. You don’t get the credit for any of that. In case you don’t remember you aren’t good for me. I was the one who rose above you, (I’ve done it once and I will do it again). I was the one who created the life I enjoy right now. Stop trying to ruin it for me, I won’t let you.

You are a trickster but your tricks are old. I’ve been around long enough to see right through you. You show up at all the times in my life just before I do something great and right now I am on the cusp of a whole new level of greatness. By some sort of universal magic, I am watching my life unfold better than I could have ever planned myself. It truly is a miracle. How dare you try to rob me of that joy. I know things are changing, this is what growth looks like. Not all change is bad, but you just can’t see that. 

Now that we are broken up, you should know that I won’t miss you at all. In fact, you have already been replaced with joy and gratitude. Yep. You should know that I am blissfully happy. I am taking back what is mine.

I’m so grateful to see the back of you. And if you see me walking down the street, just do me a favour and keep walking. Save yourself the embarrassment because I have nothing to say to you. You think you know me, but after all this time, you still know nothing true about me at all. I won’t tolerate listening to you anymore, throwing in your five cents worth all the time. I am tired of being underestimated. It makes me so happy to visualize my life without you in it. I feel so free. I bet you have no idea what that’s like. 

Its a shame really, that I can’t help you, but all that space you took up in my life is already full of everything that contributes to my growth. So from now on, we’ll have nothing to do with each other.

So long, (not long enough). Farewell, (I know I will).

Sincerely,

The best version of Me